Let’s get this out of the way: I have no idea how Onyx the Fortuitous and the Talisman of Souls snagged a Sundance premiere.  In a film festival world increasingly dedicated to inclusivity and new perspectives, this is a cis-het white dude’s passion project, a throwback of a movie that pretends the 1980s never ended. Onyx is a character first created by Andrew Bowser that’s been kicking around the internet since 2012, and then really took off in the last couple years thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic and a humble little platform known as TikTok.  After some Kickstarter campaigning, Bowser finagled his way into this feature-length film centered around his titular persona. 

Your mileage, and your enjoyment of the film, will vary depending on your tolerance of the character.  The movie’s plot is simply a façade, an excuse to enable Bowser to spit out as many silly jokes as possible.  Watching the movie, I kept thinking of Jim Varney in the (now beloved) Ernest movies. Similar to Bowser’s film, those movies were flimsily plotted and largely designed to just let Varney do his thing.  Which brings us back to Onyx.  If you’ve ever asked yourself (and I really hope to god you haven’t), “what if Ernest was a satanic incel?”  Well, here’s your answer.

When we first meet Onyx (Bowser), he’s clad in a black robe and delivering a nerdy monologue to the camera about worshipping Stan. To the surprise of no one, we soon find out that he’s delivering this address in his mother’s basement. How original.  This also serves as an introduction to the character’s catchphrases, like “Notice me Senpai!”  Onyx is a nervous, chatty motormouth, and Bowser’s inflections are part of the character’s ‘humor’ from the start. In particular, he often emphasizes the last word of a sentence, drawing it out dramatically.  I’ll admit that these off-kilter line readings occasionally made me laugh in spite of myself.  At one point, a character delivers a dramatic mini-monologue about a spooky tome called the Grand Grimoire. A beat later, Onyx’s response: “Siiiiiiiick.”

Make no mistake, Bowser wants to make you laugh, and is waging a war of attrition to do so.  The jokes are so rapid-fire and scattershot that you’ll eventually find yourself chuckling if not laughing outright.  If one joke doesn’t work for you, then the next one will. And so on. To a lesser degree, Bowser also has adapted the ethos of Rick and Morty, letting some jokes play out for so long that they become unfunny, then funny again. 

When he’s not worshipping the dark lord, Onyx works at the Meat Hut, a fast food chain where he greets customers, “How can I make your day a bit beefier?” Eventually, Onyx snags an invitation to the home of his idol Bartok the Great (Jeffrey Combs!), where he and a motley crew of strangers are asked to perform a ritual to raise the spirt of an ancient demon named Abaddon. Onyx and his new friends soon find out that this is not all fun and games and soon find themselves fighting for their very souls.

The film is clearly a love letter to campy horror movies, beginning with the casting.  The presence alone of Combs instantly brings to mind the bananas cult classic Reanimator.  Here he delivers a suitably gonzo performance, chewing scenery and clearly enjoying himself. With his bald head and eye patch, he looks vaguely like Master Roshi from Dragon Ball Z if he were a pirate.  The horror-fan casting also extends to Onyx’s new friends, such as Duke (Terrence Carson, who will always remind me of Final Destination 2, which incidentally was the last good movie in that series).

The plotting is also more than a little reminiscent of Clue, with its clashing personalities, intrigue, and mysterious mansion backdrop.  To the movie’s benefit, once the action shifts to Bartok’s mansion, it becomes a much smoother ride.  The characters are just well sketched enough that you almost care what happens to them, and there’s enjoyable interplay amongst all of them.  The addition of these new characters also turns the movie into more of an ensemble, and dilutes the main character’s tediousness somewhat. Considerable praise is also owed to the set design and the practical effects, which were lovingly pulled straight out of the 80s.  The house is sufficiently gothic and spooky and has a character all its own, and the effects will make you miss the days before mushy CGI became the go-to for VFX.  With a combination of prosthetics and puppets, the literal ghouls in the movie have an admirably tactile, practical feel that’s missing in many of today’s effects-driven spectacles.

Overall, this is an odd alchemical mix.  It doesn’t always work, but when it does, it’s surprisingly charming and entertaining.  The main character is by far the biggest drawback of the film. He’s an annoying internet simp that almost certainly browses 4chan and supports men’s rights.  Yet even he manages to occasionally be funny, and his castmates help to elevate the proceedings somewhat.  The homages to classic horror films, including Evil Dead, Child’s Play, and anything with Vincent Price in it, are done with care and help establish the film’s retro vibe.  The only misstep in this regard is the finale, which blatantly, unimaginatively rips off the ending of Beetlejuice.

This is a movie that was engineered to be shown at midnight screenings, for audiences craving old-school campy horror comedies.  Whether or not those late-night viewers will be openly mocking the movie, ala spoon-throwing screenings of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, or unironically enjoying it remains to be seen.  Either way, it likely matters little to Bowser, who has the last laugh.  No matter when and where the film is shown, it will forever be Onyx the Fortuitous and the Talisman of Souls, the film that was bat-shit lucky enough to premiere at Sundance Film Festival.